Natación + Lessons in Interpreting Dominican Sarcasm

The only class that I'm taking here that's with alllll Dominicans is mi clase de natación. My swim class. I received (and still do receive) odd looks from people, both here and in the states, when I tell them that I'm taking swimming. I don't know, I like to swim, okay?

Class is for two hours, once a week. Before we were even allowed to swim, we all needed to have a physical and a blood test to be tested for God knows what. There are three pools in the complex- one is Olympic-sized, one is about 15m squared and pretty deep, and the last once is a normal lap lane pool.


Olympic-sized pool at PUCMM

The first difference that I'd like to highlight between my swim class here and the swim class I took at my university last term is this: we are swimming outside. At first, I liked this. Nothing is better on a 90 degree day in the middle of fall than a nice dip in the pool. And I suppose I still do feel that way- it definitely is relaxing. However, especially recently, this whole swimming-outside-for-two-hours-in-the-middle-of-the-day thing has also caused me some problems. Well, mainly one problem. Unavoidable sunburns.

I swear, I'll be rocking the one-piece Speedo swimsuit "burn line" wayyyy into February. No matter how much waterproof sunscreen I put on, nothing lasts for the whole two hours. The other day was exceptionally bad, because I spent about 20 minutes outside of the water listening to my teacher talk about the midterm. Anddddd the next day I had some nice swim goggle burn lines on my forehead. As in, there were two white ovals in the middle of my forehead, and the rest was red. I looked like such a tool. Thank God for full coverage concealer.

I was talking to my friend Rose, another ISA student who has been cursed with this immense lack of melanin in her system, and it was agreed that people like us should be given a warming before attempting any outdoor activities in the Caribbean. And it's true.

Whatever, whatever, enough with the complaining. Sunburns aside, I really do enjoy my swim class. There are 10 of us in the class, and everyone is so nice. Seriously. Maybe it's because they're all freshman and are still in that I'm-going-to-be-nice-to-everyone stage, but I doubt it. They're really cool people.

Example: I'm the only one who walks to class. The pool is about 20 minutes from my apartment, so whenever I show up to class, it looks like I just ran a marathon (DR heat + 20 minute walk). However, the past couple of weeks I've been stopped on my way to class by other kids in my class driving by, and they'll give me a ride. Same goes for the way home. Since the first day, there's been this one girl who has given me a ride home every week.
The first day of class it rained, and everyone ran from the complex to their cars to avoid getting soaked. I had contemplated taking a taxi, but I then just decided to suck it up and walk through campus with no umbrella. I was leaving the pool area and had started walking towards the university (for some reason, the pool isn’t attached to the university. In order to get there from my apartment, I need to enter the university, walk all the way through, leave, and walk another 5 minutes down the road to get to the pool) when this girl waved me down and told me to hop in. I definitely owe her a candy bar. Or a soda.

Another thing I like about the class is just how easy it is. When I took a swim class last term, we spent most of the 50-minute period doing set after set after set, and most of them were timed. Our instructor would give each lane (we were divided by skill) a certain time for each part, and we had to stick to it, or it’d throw off everyone else in our lane. A common set would be something along the lines of 1 x 200, 2 x 100, 4 x 50, 4 x 50, 2 x 100, 1 x 200. Nothing as rigorous as what you’d find during a practice for a swim team, but it was still pretty intense.
Here however, we aren’t timed. Our sets are 400m, at the longest. Our instructor also makes it clear that it’s totally acceptable, and even encouraged, to rest after every 100 or 200, if we’re tired. Our midterm? A 50m swim across the pool. He critiqued/graded us on our technique. Yes, I agree, technique is important… but I swear, the next time I try to sprint, it’s going to be pathetic. I wasn’t very fast in the first place, but especially after 4 months of summer and 2 months of a very, very lax swim class, my times are going to suck.

Sorry, I always end up complaining. Let me reiterate, I really do like the class. I know it sounds like I’m trying to convince myself more than I’m trying to convince you all, but it’s really the truth. The instructor is really nice, and we have a very similar sense of humor. Aka 90% sarcastic. Which is often difficult to translate. Very difficult. So he’ll say something to me, and he’s saying it sarcastically, but I won’t pick up on it, because his humor is so dry. So I’ll just smile and nod, then he’ll be like “Es un chiste, Katherine” (“It’s a joke”), and then I’ll get all awkward and start nervous laughing “Oh… lo siento… no entendí…” then he’ll try to explain it and I still won’t get it, then other people will try and explain it, and then I’ll get it, but this all happens about 5 minutes after the sarcastic remark was uttered, so all is lost.

I am getting better with it though. The other day I tried [and completely failed] to do a successful backstroke start. Like, when you grip onto the railing under the platform, and then lift yourself up and let go and push off once you hear the whistle and go into a streamline for backstroke. Horrible explanation. Anyway, anyway, I failed at it, and ended up inhaling a decent amount of water. When I came up for water, my instructor was there. I told him that I tried, but I ended up drinking water. “Yeah, but it was free, right?” And it took me a second. But then I started to put the pieces together. Let’s see… I drank water… free water… water in the Dominican Republic is rarely free… so even though it was bad that I drank it, it was still good because it was free… oh, so this is a joke. Ish. “Sí, el agua fue gratis!” He seemed relieved that I finally, finally understood one of his random side remarks, and that this time, I didn’t look at him as if he had suddenly sprouted a extra eye, or had just lost a limb, or… something.

Okay, it was funnier at the time. But you get the point. Swim class = bad sunburns, nice kids, mad easy workouts, and lessons in interpreting Dominican sarcasm.